I turned on the television when I got back from church this morning and flicking through the channels as I sat down after lunch I happened upon ‘Wife Swap USA’ – and thought it might amuse for a while! It turned out to be a programme in which one mother was spending so much time at work that she had little of it left to spend with her children – which led the ‘swapped’ wife to tears, especially when she realized that the compensation was to buy the children anything they wanted. Of course the programme makers made it more compelling by drawing big contrasts and making sure there was plenty of conflict with the husbands! However, it is not only in the USA that people work such long hours that one or other of the parents only spends a fraction of their time with the children. How do our children think?

I found two pieces which explore this question:
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good
to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favourite cake just for me, and
I knew that little things are special.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there was a
God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you though I wasn’t looking, I looked…..and wanted say thanks for all things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

The other side of the coin is this sad piece:
I looked at you and smiled the other day
I thought you’d see me, but you didn’t.
I said ‘I love you’ and waited for what you would say;
I thought you’d hear me, but you didn’t.
I asked you to come outside and play ball with me;
I thought you’d follow me, but you didn’t.
I drew a picture, just for you to see
I thought you’d save it, but you didn’t.
I made a fort for us back in the woods;
I thought you’d camp with me but you didn’t.
I found some worms for fishing.
I thought you’d want to go, but you didn’t.
I needed you to talk to, just my thoughts to share;
I thought you’d want to, but you didn’t.
I thought about the game hoping you’d be there;
I thought you’d surely come, but you didn’t.
I asked you to share my youth with me;
I thought you’d want to, but you couldn’t.
My country called me to war,
And you asked me to come home safely;
but I didn’t.
Please God that the children living here experience the first of these.

Margaret.

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